All is Fair in Love, Right?

Last Sunday, Tony and I celebrated our 1st wedding anniversary! It was so wonderful. I can't believe it's been a whole year, and on the other hand I can't believe it's been only a year. A few days ago, before our anniversary, I went back to the passage that we selected as our "marriage scripture". Sort of like our motto. We chose Colossians 3:12-17. If you haven't yet or can't recall that passage, please go read it. It's so beautiful. Of course after reading this you'll picture the relationship between a husband and wife. Granted, it's so easy to see in this passage. But do you know what other relationships it's great for? Parent-child. Sibling-sibling. Friend-friend. And so forth, and so forth. Really, the people Paul and Timothy are writing to is the Church. They're writing to the believers; to the Christ-followers. He's writing to me. And I hope you can include yourself in their audience. So the relationship we are looking at here is christian-to-christian. He is laying out how we should treat one another. 

They day I re-pondered our passage, though, I didn't get past verse 14. So maybe I'll reflect on the other verses with you another day. So, I'll be honest. The day I gave these verses a gander, Tony and I had been arguing. I tell you this only to further the goal of my message, because otherwise I am a very private person and don't believe the insides of my marriage are any of your business (I mean that in the most polite way possible). So the day after this incident, I sat down with my Bible. I thought, "Our anniversary is in a couple of days. I'll give our marriage passage another visit." I believe the most clear way to learn from God and hear from God is His Word. And He gently, but sternly, showed me a little more of myself that day. As I began reading that passage, the "list" of words caught my attention. These are easy words-words we learn in elementary school. But do we really remember what they mean? I'll write verse 12 here for your reference.

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

Easy, right? Hmmm... So I decided to look in the dictionary and find the exact meaning of these words. What exactly am I expected to clothe myself in? 

1. compassion-sympathize; to bear, suffer; sympathy of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it

That was unexpected... Sure, sympathy was expected. But sympathy PLUS a desire to alleviate that person's distress? Did I show a desire to alleviate my husband's distress that previous night?

2. kindness-of a sympathetic or helpful nature; of a forbearing nature: gentle

Gentle.......uuummmmm.. Was I very gentle towards him?

3. humility-not proud or assertive; reflecting, expressing, or offered in a spirit of submission

Ouch.... okay, this is starting to hurt a bit, Lord.

4. gentleness-free from harshness, sternness, or violence

Again with the "gentleness"? ....I guess I was pretty harsh. But I had a right to be angry! ....Right?

5. patience-bearing pains or trials calmly or without complaint: steadfast despite opposition, difficulty, or adversity

And You save the biggest bomb for last, don't ya?! 

Okay, so I was none of these things during our argument. Not only am I called as a wife to be these things for my husband, I'm a Follower called to be these things to my fellow Brother. Can you see the recurrence in these words? Sympathy, forbear, gentle. Isn't that how Jesus lived? Isn't that how He treats us when we fail Him? I kept trying to rationalize my behavior and the only thing I felt whispered to my heart over and over again was, "But what about when you come to Me? Do I hold these things against you?"

(Big sigh.....) No, He doesn't hold these things against us. Which moved me along to the next verse.

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. (13)

Wwwwhhhhhhyyyyyyyy? Why does this have to be so haaaaarrrrdd?! And then it hit me! It DOESN'T have to be so hard. The limits of forgiveness are self-imposed. I don't have to set a limit on how far my forgiveness goes. I SHOULDN'T set a limit on how far my forgiveness goes! Why, you ask. Because there is no limit on how far Christ's forgiveness goes. How relieving. How freeing! I don't have to hold on to my anger. I can freely forgive because I am forgiven. How sweet it is, dear one, to be free.

And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. (14)

Love is the key here. I can have all of these things previously listed, but they will not be held together unless I have love to cover them with. The love that is spoken of here is the love that pours from Christ into me, and from me to others. Without the love of Christ, I have nothing. 

So let's recap:

We have been forgiven through Christ. Since we are forgiven, we should have the love of Christ in us. We need love to forgive others. Handy-dandy thing, because we SHOULD forgive others because we have been forgiven. And to go along with that, we should be showing those around us compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. This is a tall order. You can't do it by your own will. Call on Him to help you. You may be surprised by what He shows you in return.

Being Purified is Purely Painful

We want a Christ who pardons, but do we want a Christ who purifies?

This question was in the sermon notes handout last Sunday. The sermon was titled "The Cross and Christian Discipline (Part 2): What About Church Disputes?" Immediately you think of a split amongst attenders of a specific church building, but the Church is more than that. We, the believers, are the Church. The bride of Jesus (my heart swoons every time). So what happens when we become angry at one another or hurt by one another? As Christ-followers we are called to a different standard. It's a high standard. It's a hard standard. And it isn't what we would call "fair" all the time. I won't go into the whole sermon here, you can listen to the Brook Hills podcast for that. 

What I want to reflect on here is that question that jumped off of the paper handout and punched me right between the eyes. Wow. 

Do we want a Christ who pardons? Of coarse! Our eternity rests on a Christ who PARDONS! If He didn't pardon, we would be hopeless and destitute. We love that part of Christ. It's the part that works out well for us. But what about the parts of Christ that don't sit so comfortably with us? Do we love those parts? Do we want a Christ who purifies? We sing songs during worship with lyrics that request this purifying, we pray and ask for purification, but do we realize exactly what we're asking for? Most of the time (for me anyways) that's a big, fat NO! 

What imagery comes to mind when you think of the word purify? I imagine a big, tall waterfall. Really it's more like a stream-fall, if that word even exists. It's clear waters gently tumble over the edge and fall down into stream below. And I'm standing under that falling water-arms stretched wide, head tilted back receiving the clean water from above. Nice setting, huh? But being made into the image of Christ isn't so serene. Being purified by Christ isn't comfortable. It's down right hard! It isn't natural for a human being to portray characteristics and actions that mirror those of a the perfect Savior. 

So what does it mean to be purified by Christ? Silver doesn't come in an original state of 100% silver. There are other minerals in it as well. So to be purified, it is put into very high temperatures so that the other trace elements will separate from the silver and rise to the top so as to be easily removed. This "junk" is called dross. Get where I'm going here? When you find yourself in a situation where it would be so easy to act or react like you want, but you chose instead to mirror Christ, you are being purified. You must be made uncomfortable (high temperatures) so that you have to consciously chose to be like Christ (have your other junk removed from the surface)-because I can pretty much guarantee that it will not be second nature. Tony and I have a little funny that we say to one another when we're showing our rears and acting like humans usually do-"Hunny, your dross is showing." When we see the junk of our human hearts rise to the surface, we have a choice. Do we remove it and become more purified, or do we do the easy thing and give in to our human nature?

Being purified is a hard process to go through. It's also a long process-lasting the rest of your life here on earth. Ask Him for strength. He will give it. Ask Him for patience. He will give it. Ask Him for more of Himself to be present in you. Beware: He will give it. So, let's honestly ask ourselves today: Do we want a Christ who purifies?

"Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." (Ephesians 4:31, 32 ESV)

*I know, it's a real zinger.

Hello there...

I've always thought bloggers were cool. They always have neat stories to tell, fabulous recipes and crafts, or a clearly anointed thought/message to share. I'm sorry to say that I won't be a cool blogger. This will simply be a gallimaufry of my thoughts, ideas, and sometimes the if-I-don't-spill-this-out-of-me-I'm-going-to-go-bonkers issues of my life. You are more than welcome to follow along, but please know that place doesn't exist to satisfy anyone. This place is for me. It's my desire that maybe a few will be uplifted, or inspired, or perhaps to just feel like they aren't alone. But it isn't the goal...for now. For now, I just need a place to share dump the things that are in my heart and mind. Do not misunderstand, Christ is my cornerstone and forevermore. He is my patient listener. He takes me into His arms and quiets my chaos. He takes the bad things away and leaves me filled to the brim. I don't need this place; I just want it. Writing, I think, is therapeutic. Call it the teacher in me, but it is. In a nutshell, I just need to literally (metaphorically, if you want to be exact) spew the innards of my mind.

And so Vita in Cristo is born! Vita in Cristo (so difficult to spell it without an "h") is Italian for Life in Christ. I love my new last name. Is so.....swirly, if you will. It's beautiful all spelled out, it's fun to say, and it's just basically one of the best words ever. But what I love most about it is the first four letters. Vita. Life. I will confess, I didn't notice this on my own.

Tony's grandfather married a lovely woman in 2000 named Terry Marquis(very French) Vitagliano. She passed away a few months before our wedding from cancer. I met her twice, once in high school for Tony's graduation and again the Christmas before Tony and I married. The first was brief and not very in depth. But the second time, I was one of her's. She made me feel as though I'd been her family for years. I got to spend hours sitting next to her on Tony's aunt's couch. She was so weak and tired (and one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen to be truthful), but it in NO way dampened her spirits. Towards our departure she told me that she would do everything she could and give every ounce of fight left in her to be at our wedding. Her own granddaughter got married a month after we did, so she had two weddings approaching. "I'm a Vitagliano. It's right there in my name: Vita! Life! That's what I want-life!" She was a tough fighter, but God is a harder fighter. And he wanted her home before our wedding date. And boy, was she ready to go see Him! That's actually what the rest of our conversation consisted of-how happy she was to be so close to Home. Anyway, that's who taught me this wonderful thing about my name. And I will never forget her words.

So we have life. We are born into this world with physical life. But to truly receive life of the soul, we must find it in Christ. The One who took our sin upon His sinless self and gave His life so that we may be reunited with God, the Father. That's a very wordy sentence. It inhabits a lot of ideas that are hard to get our finite minds wrapped around. I love that sentence. I also love the simplicity of these ideas. God made you-He already knew who you were while he was making the sun and the flowers. He knew your name, he knew what color eyes you have, and he also knew you'd be human. Bleh. Human. We are all weak and broken humans. So He sent Jesus to die for our sins so that we would be made clean. There is the life. Eternal life. I just wrote and deleted about as much as is already written in this post to further explain this. If you would like this to be further explained, please ask me. I would be overjoyed to share with you everything I wrote and deleted, and more!

So I am redeemed. I have found my life, and it is in Christ that I live.
"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Galatians 2:20