Before I begin and before you accuse me of being a crazy zealot, hear this. The goal of my words is not to make you angry. My intent is not to shame or condemn anyone. My hope is that I can bring truth to an issue that is muddled with confusion, half truths, and a lot of misinformation. I have prayed over these words countless times. This is a conviction that has weighed so heavily on my heart that each time I thought of writing, my stomach weakened and my heart fluttered. It is even now. I want you to see truth in these words. I want you to see grace in these words and not just a list of medical facts.
The cornerstone of these truths is the sanctity of life. We are made in His image. From the first moments of a newly created life to the last breath of our human bodies, we are His creation--fearfully and wonderfully made. It is through this lens of knowledge and truth that the following words are to be seen.
I don't believe that trying to avoid pregnancy is wrong. God made our bodies rhythmic. We can't become pregnant at all times. I know that not all women's bodies are rhythmic each month, but for the most part our bodies run on a cycle. Before birth control was invented, I'm sure women observed the rhythm of their bodies as a means to avoid and attempt becoming pregnant. Many women do that now. I believe that if God didn't want us to have any control over if and when we have children, He would've made our bodies in such a way that pregnancy was achievable at all times. Avoiding pregnancy isn't the issue, it's how we avoid it that can be dangerous.
So this is my foreword: trying to avoid becoming pregnant isn't wrong and the means by which we do this should honor the sanctity of life and God, the Creator of all life--big and small, planned for and unplanned for, wanted and unwanted.
Our Story
A few months before Tony and I were to be married, Amendment 26 was to be on the upcoming voting ballot. This amendment stated that the right to life begins at conception which would make abortions illegal in the state of Mississippi. Amongst the controversy of the amendment was the discussion of what the passing of the amendment would mean for birth control methods. As it was, Tony and I were beginning our discussions about what we planned to do about birth control once we were married.
While listening to a discussion about Amendment 26 on a radio program, I heard an individual state that the use of intrauterine devices (IUDs) and Depo Provera shots (and the like) would be put to a stop if the amendment was passed and that although use of "the Pill" would not be effected by the passing of the amendment, it can still cause abortions.
What? I wondered why IUDs and "the shot" would be nixed, and even more importantly how birth control pills can cause abortions. Per usual, I wanted to do the research for myself.
What I found left me dumbfounded, for lack of a better word. I was shocked. I was intrigued. I was mad.
The person on the radio that I doubted was right.
I first read the enclosed pamphlet that comes with all prescribed birth control pills. I read every single small-print word. I confirmed what I read by doing more research online and I found the same mechanisms of action for every type of pill. Every birth control pill has three mechanisms of action. The primary mechanism of action is to inhibit ovulation. This is no problem since it is actually contraceptive in nature. Contraception means literally no conception. When the primary mechanism works and keeps a woman from ovulating, there is no child conceived, therefore no threat to a life. There are two other mechanisms of action for the pill. It also thickens the cervical mucus to make the travel of sperm to an egg difficult. Here again, no harm. This mechanism is not threatening to a conceived life. It's in the other mechanism of action that the danger lies. Birth control pills alter the endometrium (lining of the uterus) so that a conceived life cannot get the oxygen and nutrients it needs to continue to grow, which results in the body expelling the already conceived life. This mechanism is abortive.
My pamphlet in my birth control pills that I got from a doctor at my pre-wedding gynecologist appointment that everyone urges you to make 3 months before your wedding didn't explain to me what these mechanisms of action actually meant. Why not?! Why would they print, "The mechanism of action inhibits ovulation and also alters cervical mucus and causes changes to the endometrium" without going into further detail? Isn't that the purpose of pharmaceutical information pamphlets? Shouldn't I be given all the information I need about a drug I'm putting into my body? According to them, no. The further explanation is in a Physician's Desk Reference.
Here's the truth. If scientists, doctors, and others of the like can change the definition and what we know of "pregnancy" to something that only happens after implantation, then they can sell more drugs that are potentially abortive and devices that are abortive. They even call them by the name of "contraceptives". They can manipulate people into being desensitized to the sanctity of life.
When a sperm penetrates an egg, a new individual is created. A completely unique, different-from-any-person-ever-created-and-different-from-any-person-that-will-over-be-created, person. The DNA is already constructed. Eye color, hair color, gender, features from each parent are already designated. All that's left is for the person to grow, be born, and continue growing. If a swab of DNA were collected from a person immediately after he/she was conceived and again at the age of 99, it would be identical. Human life, pregnancy, begins with conception. Anything that endangers life after conception is abortive.
I know that many people buy into the fact that the chances of ovulating while taking the Pill, sperm being able to reach the egg and for conception to happen, and then for the body to expel the life are small. I was one of those people (I will tell you more about that later). Pulling away and looking at this possibility from a distance does make this chance seem small. But how can purposefully (even if it is unintentional) altering the body so that a life is terminated ever be considered a
small possibility?
You know the Morning After Pill (not speaking of RU-486) that nearly every pro lifer and Christian stands against? The birth control pill does the exact same thing. The MAP simply does what the BCP has already done to your body. And yes, the commercial and other information about the MAP says that it doesn't terminate an already existing pregnancy. That's because the creators and marketers of the BCP and the MAP are only recognizing pregnancy as everything that happens after implantation. In fact, if a woman suspects that she could become pregnant as a result of unprotected sex (due to the pills not being taken as scheduled or other means), she can call her doctor and have him/her tell her what dosage (depending on the brand of the pill) of her BCP to take to act as an emergency "contraceptive". A ready made morning after pill. Implanon methods and patch methods have the same mechanism of action.
IUDs, the Depo Provera shot, and other methods of the like are abortive. IUDs and "the shot" do not inhibit ovulation in any way; its primary mechanism of action is to alter the lining of the womb so that it won't be receptive to the conceived child. The sole purpose of these methods is to create a hostile environment so that a conceived life may be expelled from the body. This is why the passing of Amendment 26 would have put a stop to these forms a birth control--they are primarily abortive.
If your head is reeling, you aren't alone. After finding all of this information that I had never heard talked about, I felt deceived. Why isn't the mechanisms of action in these birth control methods disscussed? Why does it feel as if they are hidden? I know that there are so many who have used these methods with no intent to harm life. This is why I want to make others aware of the dangers of these popular methods. It's almost as if we just use these methods because we're "supposed to". It's just something that many do without really thinking about it.
So, after I researched and learned all of this, I shared it with Tony. We were both surprised by the truth mainly because we had never heard anyone talk about it. We were also scared. We were going to be getting married in a matter of months. The thought of having a baby very soon after we got married terrified us. We knew that we were still kids ourselves in a lot of ways. We researched other methods of birth control that were purely contraceptive in nature and found a plethora of helpful information. At the same time, I was also trying to find any way possible that taking the BCP would be okay even with our pro life beliefs. I was grasping at straws. I was searching high and low. One day I found an article written by a Christian about birth control (one of many). He went through every form of birth control (everything from none at all to abortion) and discussed the mechanisms of actions and his thoughts about each. When he wrote about the BCP, he was honest about what it did but then continued to say that since the chance of potential and purposeful abortion was so small, it should be a fairly safe option for Christian marriages.
There it was! What I had been searching for all along! Finally, I had the "okay" to use the pill. And so we did. For the first three months of our marriage, I took a birth control pill each day. Each day that I swallowed a tiny, white pill, my heart felt heavy. It felt sad. For three months, I swallowed my convictions with that tiny pill. I swallowed what I had learned about its potential danger to a brand new life.
One day, it was a day in September, I was coming to the end of a month's supply of the pill and needed to go get my refill. I don't know what was different about this day, but this was the day that I decided that I had had enough. I couldn't ignore it anymore. I just could not keep doing it all the while knowing that I was potentially forcing a conceived life from my womb. When Tony got home that day from work, I told him how I felt. I had my assumptions of what I thought he'd say. I knew he would be nervous, but I also knew he loved God and he loved me. I knew that he was a fair man. I also knew that he was a human man that had the same fears, both for
not using the pill and
for using it, that I did. So after I told him everything and my reasons for it, he simply said, "Then I think we know what we have to do." And that was it. We stopped using the pill and we have never looked back or regretted it for a single moment. I don't know if in that three months a life was lost due to me using the birth control pill, and there is no way to know. All I can do is hope and pray that there wasn't and lay it at the feet of Jesus. There is no shame, guilt, or condemnation with Him.
A person is either pro life or not. There aren't different shades or degrees of being pro life. There's valuing the sanctity of life from the very first moment, and then there is the alternative. Again, I don't mean for these words to hurt or to shame or to condemn anyone. I simply feel an urgency to show the truth that is hidden from so many. I know that there are so many that have been using these forms of birth control without the full knowledge of what they do. My heart's desire is for you to know the truth and respond to it.
Now, I would like to share some methods of birth control that are solely contraceptive and don't pose any harm to a life. Abstinence, rhythm method, calendar method, and barriers are all contraceptive. When each is practiced faithfully and accurately, they work wonderfully! I encourage you to research them more and learn more about what would fit your marriage best. I know you're undoubtedly thinking, "Yeah, sure. 'They work,' says the woman with two children 17 months apart!" Let me be candid with you. When you are faithful and deliberate about the chosen method, it works (of course, nothing is fail proof--except for abstinence--just as none of the methods we talked about earlier are)! If you get lax and don't really pay attention, congratulations, you get a Stella! If you think, but aren't really sure you know what day it is on your beginning-to-return-to-normal cycle after having a baby but don't take proper measures, yay for you, you'll be getting a Wittson soon! I don't mean to embarrass you or myself, I just want you to see that it can be done and it can be done well. I have several good friends who use one of these methods in their marriages and have done a great job at it (meaning they have avoided and achieved pregnancy as they attempted).
Let's end with a sweet note.
Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Psalm 127:3
My prayer is that we strive to honor the Lord with our bodies and our decisions. May His creation be uplifted, celebrated, and revered.
Further reading:
Here is an
article that is much more in depth, informative, and all around better than mine. It addresses these issues from a Biblical perspective.
